That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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