like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
