I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
