Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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