We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
