I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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