I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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