he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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