I didn't shave. On purpose
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize