Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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