i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
