So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
