He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
