she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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