Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
