Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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