we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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