I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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