I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
