i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
