laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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