He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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