I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
