Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
