i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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