My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
