He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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