OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Couch. On fire.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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