Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
