i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize