I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
