East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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