Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
