Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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