I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
