i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
