You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
