hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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