What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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