So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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