Quick, to the slutcave!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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