I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
