turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
