My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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