alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
