i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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