I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
