Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
time to smoke my breakfast
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
