please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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