Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
