good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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