I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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