That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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