Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
