Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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