if you like me you must not know who I am
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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