i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
