if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
