i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
