The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
