shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
