Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
