Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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