Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize