I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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