We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize