sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
ttyl tear gas
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize