ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
